As many of you know I went on a Vision Quest last weekend and just returned Wednesday at first light. Now, seeing as how it was a rare clear night on Tuesday, first light was easily confused with the waning half moon, but I did indeed emerge from the forest around 7am after 4 days and nights of being alone. Since then I have been working with what I got out there.
Many of you are familiar with the tradition in which I’ve been trained; the quester keeps close to them the lessons they’ve learned and that gives them more energy to transform their life. I’ll be keeping with that tradition. But I do want to share something that’s been brewing in me for awhile. And that came up for me out there sitting in the cold, in the dark, with the dripping moss and the little birds.
Last Fall I remember walking in the valley where I live. I’d be walking along on a clear, crisp, sunny day and I’d think, “This is my life.” It felt like waking up and seeing that that very moment, walking in the sun, that was my life. This was my chance to live my life. It was an exciting thought. A thought that made me want to shout out loud and laugh. “This is my life.” And “This is my Life!”
During the quest I got an addendum to this statement. “This is my life. I live my life fully.” I’ve been repeating this over and over and over again since I left the quest. I use it in times of uncertainty. I use it to focus my mind. And I use it to remember the quest. Like the beautiful poet Mary Oliver says, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” I’ve always loved this statement. Too often I find myself holding back from fully living my dreams. Oh no, I won’t get up and jam with those musicians, I’m not good enough. Oh no, I can’t start my own business, I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh no, oh no, oh no, the list goes on let me tell you. Well, to be frank, fuck that. Or to be graceful, this is my life, I live my life fully.
So try this. For 5 minutes today repeat that phrase over and over again. This is my life. I live my life fully. Walk while you do it. Move. Or sit still. Whatever floats your boat. Whatever you choose, say it from your heart. From that place that still believes that all your most beautiful, hidden, and treasured dreams can come true.